I'm still in kind of a weird blogging place right now, so bear with me. The self-reflective posts continue (at least for now). I've been feeling like this since I've gotten back.
It's hard to describe where I'm at with things in general right now. I can't quite put into words, but I'll try. I just completed a long fourteen month project which culminated in last week's meeting.
I was on the planning committee, and I had a lot invested in this project - especially from an emotional standpoint. From a professional standpoint, I was kind of putting myself out there on a limb, since I was one of the key contacts/presenters for the meeting.
Being the "go-to" person on site has its ups and downs. While I got most of the complaints from the people that attended, I also received some compliments. I'm a detailed oriented person (imagine that), and there were nights where I couldn't sleep trying to anticipate all the problems of the next day.
When all was said and done, at the end of the last day, I did feel relieved that the entire thing was over. There were no disasters that occurred (at least from what I heard), and for the most part, people got a lot out of the meeting.
Now, I'm not perfect, and I believe I made some mistakes - or, at least, I felt that some things could have been done better. But, at some point during the meeting, I had to surrender and let go of the things that I could not control. I said my serenity prayer, and moved on.
Even when I attend meetings that I do not plan (just an attendee), I go through this "post-conference" let down. And, I guess that's where I'm at this week. Physically and emotionally, I feel drained - even to the point of not blogging how I usually do.
This week really has made me reflect a little bit. Being focused on the day-to-day tasks here at home really has made me forget about just letting my mind go free sometimes - and think about - just about anything. Is life really about completing tasks until you're too tired to stay awake? Probably not.
I begin a new fourteen month project next week. I will give it all of my heart and soul, as I do with all of the projects that I strongly believe in. I'll make my to-do lists and complete the tasks one by one until all of them are completed next summer.
Hopefully, I'll have more weeks like this where I'm not so focused - and maybe a little bit random and scattered. Changing the routine every once in a while is good for the body, mind, and spirit. I really believe that....
5 comments:
I think we can all identify with the feelings of depletion. When we are using up and sending out all of our energy, to whatever it is that needs our attention, we get run down and fatigued. It can give one the blues.
You'll feel spry again soon. Just rest and do what you enjoy doing for yourself for a bit. Feel better, Dr. Blogeamy. :)
Dr. A. My guess is that the confernce went seamlessly, and you're being overly critical of yourself for the 'mistakes'. Any minor blips that may have happened, are merely learning experiences, so that the next time you do something similar, you make the changes. That's just a component of good program development. A good friend of mine calls such things an "AFGE" (said like a word and not acronym - AFFjee). It stands for Another F*%#ing Growth Experience. We all have them. We all hate them when they're happening. But, after time and reflection, hopefully we are better because of the experience.
The post-conference let down is very normal. There's a different energy with you're with a large group of colleagues and friends, some of whom you only get to see at such events. Professional conferences and meetings are often as important for the social factor as the educational. And, so it is a bummer when you leave and go back to the usual routine.
Reflect and take the down time you need. For this is how, when, and where you rejuvinate your psyche and body for the next task at hand.
And, btw, congrats on a successful conference. Bask in the afterglow of the success and know that you just conquered an AFGE.
Hi Doctor Anonymous - I've come across your blog a few times via that Random Blog Button. You've always got interesting things to say.
Now I have an invitation for you:
I just opened a new video blog with all my favourite tracks there 2 days ago. Plus there are some odd youtube clips - like a man with his giant pet hornet ... I thought I would invite you to come see it. Please tell what you think of it as well! Hope to see you there!
All the best
Gledwood
http://gledwoodvid.blogspot.com
It does sound like you nailed the conference -- but I'd like to have a week where I'm totally focused and not random and scattered all the time....
Kinda like after recitals...we called it the PRBs...Post Recital Blues. It would be a year and a half (sometimes more, sometimes less) of practicing and preparing for the recital. Then it comes, and in a little over an hour, it's over! Mine both went very well, so I don't even want to think about how the PRBs would have been if I hadn't played well! Performing, for me, is exhilerating. I love it. And it always left me feeling down once it was over - the momentum just suddenly stopped.
Hang in there!!
Hugz,
Carrie :)
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